Seeing Is Believing
Most people have heard the saying, “Seeing is believing.” But many have also lived through experiences that make this phrase deeply personal and emotional.
Imagine a parent getting a call from their child’s school. The teacher says their child has been hurt but assures them everything is okay. Even with that reassurance, the parent spends the rest of the day anxious, counting the minutes until they can see their child. Why? Because seeing is believing.
Think back to September 11, 2001—the day the planes crashed into the Twin Towers. People heard the news, but they needed to see it. Within minutes, televisions across the country were turned on. Over 90% of Americans watched the footage that first day. Many kept watching, replaying the moment over and over, trying to grasp what had happened. Seeing made it real.
When something traumatic happens, people have a deep, natural need to see. Whether it’s the event itself or the aftermath, seeing makes it feel real. We might understand something with our minds, but we don’t fully accept it until we see it.
The Five Stages of Grief
In 1969, Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the five stages of grief in her book On Death and Dying. These stages are:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
These stages apply to everyone. No one can skip them. The only way to heal is to move through them. Seeing is a key part of this process. Without it, reaching acceptance becomes much harder.
Think about the difference between losing a loved one to death versus having them disappear without a trace. When someone dies, you grieve, but eventually, you can accept the loss. However, when someone vanishes, there is no closure. You’re left in a state of endless grief, often stuck in depression forever.
When Loss Is Unexpected, Seeing Is Even More Important
There’s a big difference between an expected death and a sudden, unexpected loss.
When someone is seriously ill, their family often has time to prepare. They visit, say their goodbyes, and begin to process what is coming. By the time the person passes, their loved ones have already started grieving. Because of this, it can sometimes be easier to accept the loss.
But when death is sudden, everything is different. There were no goodbyes, no time to prepare. The shock is overwhelming. In these situations, seeing the person who has passed is even more important. It allows the mind to catch up to reality. It takes something that feels impossible and makes it real.
For those in denial, seeing is what pushes them forward in the grief process. Without it, they may stay stuck, unable to fully accept what has happened. The viewing, the funeral, and even the final resting place all play a critical role in helping people heal—especially when the loss was unexpected.
The Importance of Viewing
One debate in today’s culture is whether families should have a public viewing after a death. Some think it makes grief harder. In reality, seeing the body helps people move through grief in a healthy way.
If a loved one dies, you cannot avoid grief. The only way forward is through it. Viewing the body confirms the death in a way that nothing else can. It helps those in denial face reality so they can start healing.
The final goodbye is just as important. Seeing the burial or the scattering of ashes gives closure. It marks the end of a chapter and helps people move toward emotional healing.
Some people preplan their funerals and request no viewing to “make it easier” for their family. Sadly, this often makes things harder. Allowing loved ones to see the body is a final gift. The soul may be gone, but the physical presence of the body helps people accept the loss and heal.
Moving Forward
If someone you love dies, grief is unavoidable. But you don’t have to face it alone. Reach out to family, friends, or professionals who can help you navigate this difficult time.
By honoring the life of the person you lost, accepting the reality of their passing, and taking part in the final goodbye, you give yourself the best chance at healing.
Seeing is believing.
And believing leads to emotional healing.