A Simple Question That Changes Everything
My new book, A Beautiful Farewell, tells the story of a family navigating the loss of a parent and the funeral professional […]
Letters
These letters are written for people who find themselves responsible for helping others through loss. They address the cultural, ethical, and human questions that arise at the end of life and its aftermath. Although many of these letters were originally composed with the context of funeral service in mind, they are shared publicly because the questions they explore belong to all of us, and because how we speak with each other about loss shapes not only individual families, but the culture we live inside.
The Weekend That is Supposed to Honor the Dead
Every Memorial Day weekend when the kids were young, we loaded up the car in Michigan and made the drive
The View From the Other Side of the Desk
There is a thing that happens when you have done something a thousand times. What was once heavy becomes routine.
The Last Gift
Two days before my mother died, we expected a quiet evening. She had congestive heart failure and a large mass
The Same Week, Totally Different Experience
When my mother was dying, the family gathered. Her closest friends came by. Our extended family made the trip. People
Who Used to Tell You It Was Time
My late father-in-law spent his career as a teacher and principal. He watched thousands of children grow up. That experience
The Grief That Arrives With our Easter Guests
Our friends had been out of the country when my daughter, Jess, died. They couldn’t make the funeral. Easter was
The Scripted Princess
The first time I went to Disney World, I was skeptical before I got through the gate. We had spent
The Script That Helped the Person Who Wrote It
Two weeks ago I wrote about the meeting where we planned Jess’s funeral. __click here__ to read it Last week
The Leader in the Room
Last week’s letter was more personal than anything I have sent before. A number of you wrote back, and I