We’ll Gather Next Summer
More families are choosing to wait. The death happens. The family gathers, briefly. And then someone says the thing that […]
Letters
These letters are written for people who find themselves responsible for helping others through loss. They address the cultural, ethical, and human questions that arise at the end of life and its aftermath. Although many of these letters were originally composed with the context of funeral service in mind, they are shared publicly because the questions they explore belong to all of us, and because how we speak with each other about loss shapes not only individual families, but the culture we live inside.
18 Years
Yesterday was June 27. The anniversary of my mother’s death. It’s been eighteen years. You would think a day that
I Needed to See Her
My daughter Jess left home one evening to see friends. She never came back. Her death was sudden. No warning.
When the house goes quiet
This letter is about a scene from A Beautiful Farewell that I think is the most overlooked part of the
They thought they were done
When my in-laws were in their eighties, they told me they had gone to the local funeral home and taken
A Simple Question That Changes Everything
My new book, A Beautiful Farewell, tells the story of a family navigating the loss of a parent and the funeral professional
The Weekend That is Supposed to Honor the Dead
Every Memorial Day weekend when the kids were young, we loaded up the car in Michigan and made the drive
The View From the Other Side of the Desk
There is a thing that happens when you have done something a thousand times. What was once heavy becomes routine.
The Last Gift
Two days before my mother died, we expected a quiet evening. She had congestive heart failure and a large mass
The Same Week, Totally Different Experience
When my mother was dying, the family gathered. Her closest friends came by. Our extended family made the trip. People